Do You Have a Friendly Accountability Loop?

One of the things I appreciate about the T4T (Training for Trainers) approach is how every meeting begins in the first section with reporting on what you have done the past week to apply what you learned before.  Likewise, every meeting ends with the setting of new goals. How are you going to obey and put into practice what you learned in the lesson or story?  This accountability loop is an essential part of making obedient disciples.

It goes much further than this though.  We must develop an appreciation, even an embracing of friendly accountability in our lives as leaders.  As we model this, our disciples see it.  They begin to value it as well.

Is Accountability a Bad Word?

This ensures that friendly accountability becomes part of the DNA of the movement.  By upholding this value, the movement will be stable and strong even after you, the coach, trainer, initiator, or leader move on.  Accountability seems an unfriendly, scary, or difficult word to many.

Granted, many people have had bad experiences in their lives with heavy-handed or unkind accountability.  Some leaders demand accountability.  Some abuse it.  In my context in Asia, the same is true in many parts of Africa, many have had teachers who were harsh and cruel. They were punished unfairly when they didn’t measure up to what was expected.  As we introduce friendly accountability in these contexts, be aware of this.  It is a big shift of mindset for people to welcome and embrace friendly accountability!

How do you help them change?

Don’t Scold, But Don’t Excuse Either

It takes time and patience to bring about change.  Consistently and lovingly ask them about their goals or action steps from the previous week.  Go overboard to encourage and affirm positive actions.  Never scold people for not doing what they said they would!  Instead, gently encourage them with your own vulnerability and openness.  Let them know you are with them, and for them, in this process of growth toward obedience to God’s word. But, don’t just act as if it doesn’t matter or let them off without addressing the lack of faithfulness to keep their word.

Whatever you do, don’t just skip the asking about goals and reporting section, because you are afraid of offending people!  Lots of us are in the ministry because we have pastoral gifts.  We love people.  We don’t want them to feel bad!  We think if we ask about their goals and they haven’t done them, we will cause them to feel shame or lose face.

This can certainly be true if it is done harshly.  We need to be careful about our approach to this.  At the same time, not asking them is the best way to make disobedient disciples (as my friend Ying Kai says.) To fail to ask for a report reinforces the idea that application and obedience don’t matter. 

Gently Encourage and Give a New Opportunity to Apply

Gently encourage them to try again in the coming week.  If they fail to follow through, ask a question that helps them take responsibility for their new decision.  “What would you like to do about that goal in the coming week?” Offer to help them if you can.  “Can I go with you when you share your testimony this week? Would you like a prayer partner while you take this big step to share with your uncle?“

Friendly accountability and the friendly accountability loop is an important tool for helping individuals (and movements) grow and multiply.  It takes time, patience, perseverance, kindness, and repetition, but once it’s part of the DNA of the movement, the impact is tremendous!

How do you practice friendly accountability in your disciple-making?